staring at the screen at 11 night
my mind tries to show blank
but he was defeated
by the verbose and endless thoery
i was tortured thoroughly
self-demand can be costly
and it was proved on me
nothing is gratituos in the reality
I keep suffering from the pain
but i am convinced
it will be worthy
someday and somewhere

Embracing with you was unforgettable,
moments that we spend together,
was fast like a meteor,
but reminiscent and valuable
i should embody my heart
but seems that our destiny
are two parellel lines
should i let u fall into oblivion
or snatch the affection
that never exist between us?
suddenly
puzzlement infiltrate my whole body
LOVE is heart-rending
indeed

...

Today night i went for a movie with friends at sunway.Dont go to watch this movie(best and honestest ever advice from me) again!I also bought a STPM level organic chemistry reference book for preparation into NUS to study chemistry,let'see what can i do after one month^ ^

Is complement always a sincere one?Is critism always a sarcastic one?And is someone attitude will be totally different in the different person?Not trying to deny that i am always the conceited one but if you have the capability to represent yourself why should you miss the chance?Fame and glory are always alluring to anyone in the world ,it's just depend on much you could sacrifice and strieve to get them.Dont ever say that you want to become an ordinary person who has the most ordinary life in the world,that will just put yourself in the position of scoffing by others that your are apparent.Or perhaps your are dodging some extreme situations and obstacles in your life,so you choose (or pretend)to be prevalent.Everyone has the ticket to compete for the golden chance in their lifes.Take the pain to work again and snatch the victory from the jaw of defeat.That's when you turned to be extraordinary.Actually you aren't try to be extraordinary but you are just fullfulling your responsibilty as a human,so dont compare with the others.Everyone should have their own unusual life but they would only have one final destination--satisfaction.Dont envy and doubted about others accomplishment and remember when god is deciding to create you ,he will surely award you with the unique talent,find it and make it as your proudest!

The most crucial experience that i can gain after a visit to singapore's university is how systematic and classy a university can be,of course as a prospective student of it, i must start to behave maturely,competitively and individualistically(after i saw those singaporean students,i thought we might have to act like that..).NUS a dreamful alma mater of numerous pundits and orthodox students(like me) ,the first picture i viewed was a student who was listening to a ipod,reading a english book which i was definitely sure but leaking beside a wall and without wearing shoes,morever is a female?ok that's cool at least i realized how much they love to read at here regardless their image.The open house of NUS was just impressing ,the faculty brooths was held in the admission hall in level 2.Walking to the faculty of science,a conversant face came through me ,she was my senior who is currently pursuing the Bpharm degree and will be graduate in the april,it's a pity i failed to enter the pharmacy course in nus.However i wont ashamed ,from the information of the dean of pharmacy,they are only offering 140 place in each academic year for pharmacy and 10% of the place for the international students,now i know the reason of my failure ,just 14 places and i have to compete with the students from over 80 country which most of them have a higher qualification?ok i give up.Asking from the Dean of faculty of science , i decided to choose between chemistry and life science .It doesnt mean that i have to give up my preference thoroughly as you only have to choose 60%of the modules in your major ,the rest 40% you can use it to studying a minor programmes which i chose pharmaceutical science and of course CCA.Accomodation is not a anxiety to me as you can choose amongst the 7 on-campus residence.Each hall have their major aspects which are sports,culture,debate e.t.c.My naive dream of becoming a famous singer has never disappeared,so culture will definitely be my cup of tea.All right being anti-CCA for 6 years in my secondary school,i shall start to become a genuine 'excellent' student(emm thats sounds good).From the information of senior in nus,the hostel life will definitely be fascinating as there are various activities such as formal dine,hall celebrate day,sport gathering(i should start to exersice) which held monthly.I was bored hearing the praise(which i think is feigned)from the elders ,i shall pursue my university career in nus in the soon .Say hi to singapore and nus!^ ^

the only thing that i can express now was weary,weary and weary.Starting to feel the stresses of financial problem in studying overseas,i began to teach tuition recently.Just starting two weeks but my heart start to summon the feeling of giving up.This was when i really start to admire the students who is studying and working at the same time.Whatever i will try to suit the situation,tomorrow i will go to singapore with my parents to have a visit at NUS and NTU,this will be the right time to expand my view and knowledge , of course i will make my final decision to choose my preference of university.Just wait and see ...

3TH march,my fifth day of teaching tuition.Honestly,i fell in love with this job.As this was an one-on-one tuition,i had only one student in each classes.Differ from the other tuitions,i can understand my student deeper ,of course her strongest and weakest subject ,personalities end more important details.I enjoy teaching primary students indeed because of their naive thoughts,all their emotions and feelings were depicted on their faces.For example,when i was teaching them simpulan bahasa"buah hati",they will feel shy and express their shyness directly,no secrets and stresses isnt that good?They will sit for their test in the next week,and i asked them how much scores that they want to get,undoubtedly they answered 100%,all right it seems to be tough for me and them.But at least they told the truth in their heart,no more some "humble" and "government" languanges.700 per person seemed to be attractive ,altough it is five day per week, but you only need to teach two hours and a half per day,all right i finally found the perfect job!(in my aspect,maybe you dont think so?)